When Meds Don’t Work

mj11

Super terrible very bad day ending on a reflective note. The calm after the storm. I spent the afternoon laying in bed with ice on my neck and a cold wash cloth on my forehead.  Just like when i was a little girl. It’s my one go to. It’s my one comfort. I was there for several hours dozing on and off.  I sleep with my knees up when I have a migraine.  I have no idea why but I noticed my daughter does the same thing. Maybe she learned from me? As the pain increased I tried a wicked hot shower which really didn’t do anything.  Sometimes if it’s not too bad it can help.

mj3I tried the CBD oil and I did get some relief from it for a short time.  I need a bigger strength.  I tried a little later but I only had about half a dose so it didn’t help.  I wondered if it provoked a migraine earlier this week but I’m giving it time.

My husb came home around five. It’s difficult to talk or yell when I have a bad migraine. I mummble as little words as I can but I was able to call out from my room. He gave me a back, nape of the neck massage. A reassuring voice.  This is a tension/migraine.

I took two more fiorcet as it had been hours since the first dose.  My bottle says 1-2 per day/per headache.  One never works anymore.  I used to use one along with an excedrine, but that doesn’t help. Now I use two and it helps with a more mild migraine vs a super bad one. My triptan is my gold standard.  I’m out tonight. It usually brings it down to a 3 or less.

One things about my migraines is I never lie about them. I don’t use it for an excuse to get out of doing the dishes or the laundry or go visit my mum.  I feel like that would be jinxing things. KARMA. I don’t like heath jinxs if you know what I mean.  When I was working I never used it as an excuse either unless I was truly unable to go work or had to leave. I worked through hundreds of migraines, running into the rest room to throw up and sitting at my desk with my lights off and head down during lunch.

Anyway, the kids are out tonight and it’s just me and the husb.  He isn’t hungry and I’m nauseous so we spent “dinner time” quietly chatting in bed.  He is so supportive despite all the things he doesn’t do right :-). He helps me feel safe and gets me what I need…ice, meds, something to drink while I lay in the darkened room. But he layed down with me and he talked about his day and I complained about my fucking head pain.  He never complains, always believes. This man is my soulmate.

After the second dose of my PRN med which didn’t do anything I tried a klonapin.  I’m kind of blurry and chatty now. it’s still there and my ice packs are waiting to freeze up again. Maybe I’m relaxing some.  Maybe I’m just stoned with a migraine. :shrug:mj4

If it happens to go away by tomorrow morning, the lingering effects….the postdrome hangover will stick around so it will be a very quiet day for me. Everyone is at work tomorrow.  My house is clean, laundry done, dishwasher loaded so no worries about that. I can sleep in but probably wont. The pup will need feeding and potty-ing. I’ll need a coffee. Other than that I’m laying low and I WILL NOT feel guilty.

Maybe.

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